becoming

明陣，Labyrinth。

中譯「明陣」比「迷宮」好得多。因為明陣一點也不迷，是開平地上；不像用小樹叢砌出來的迷宮，叫人一邊行，一邊帶著進退為懼的忐忑。

雖說開平地上，但明陣特別的地方是它跟行者視線所形成的角度，再加上它的大小，讓人要看穿前面路線還是蠻不容易的。 事實上，行者慢慢便會察覺，其實要看穿前面的路，根本就是多餘的。

默想就在這一剎開始。

若以明陣比喻信徒的人生，人生也只得一個入口，一個出口。入口是生命開始的一刻，我們進入到這個人生八陣圖。迂迴曲折的路，就算再複雜，也只會通往一個終點。只要你一日還願前行，你就一定能到目的地。目的地在那裡？有的視明陣的正中為終站，有的視原來的起步點為結束點。正如我們是祂所造，最後也還是回到祂那裡。是本於祂，歸於祂。

正因如此，明陣所代表的不同於迷宮：是盼望，不是迷惘。

我執著半身長的walking stick開始。為減去平日生活的急速，每三步，就停下來，拿著手上的小棒，輕輕敲響地上的石頭三下：Jesus，speak，to me。

這樣的停頓，讓我看見不同的東西。有時眼見的是地上石頭的紋理，嫩綠青草和小螞蟻；有時，眼放遠點，我看到的是濃密的松林和遠遠的山巒。每一段路，若你留心，你會發現截然不同的事物。明陣雖圓，但人卻絕不是在裡頭團團轉。同一角度，視線的遠近和吸引也有不同。今次你看見樹木，下回向同樣的角度再望，看見的卻是樹上的小紅果，或是葉上的小白花。我開始想到，到底每天有多少的人與事，是我視而不見，或者白白的錯過了？

小小的石路突然帶我到了最近中央的旁圈。心想：「啊，要到了」。誰不知一個轉彎，又變得離中央越來越遠。是的，過去有多少次自以為達到了期待的目的地，成功在望，但一個急轉彎，天上的爸爸彷似向我開個玩笑，說：「還不是，慢慢來。」

於是，我學會了不再前望，反而留心四周的事物。這次，我行到最外的一圈，還要提醒自己：「不要緊，終站，也未必如我眼見的遠。」

明陣的幽默，彷如上主設計的人生。設若人生不是直線，而是好像陣內曲折迂迴的小路，那中站的遠近，就不可憑眼見。你以為最近的時候，可能正在最遠的一點；相反，眼見遙遙無期，一個小轉，終點就在你面前。

來到中間的小圈。圈內有小石砌成的小花。數一數，六塊小花瓣。

我逐個走上前去，輕輕敲響每片花瓣：Jesus，speak，to me。

沒有聲音。

Jesus，speak，to me。

還是沒有。

這時，我感覺頸後開始熱起來。地上身影的輪廓，也逐漸加深。抬頭看，日頭剛從雲端冒出來。

沒有聲音，只有熱和光。

SHINE。

SHINE？是甚麼意思？頓時腦裡起了十萬個可能。心知這大概只是糊亂幻想者居多，所以還是繼續行吧。於是按著原路，慢慢地行出去。

雖說原路，但這卻不是回頭路，每一個行明陣的人都會告訴你，出入雖是同路，人卻不再一樣。我進來的時候是帶著尋問的心情；出去，是帶著滿足的。

再沒有三步就停下來，但我仍然是慢慢地走。一些往事開始在心裡浮現：想起差不多二十年前我曾為令會寫過一首叫做SHINE的詩歌。想起外婆的安息禮拜那天，天上的日頭也好像這天的光和暖，還有那天環繞日頭的兩圈彩環。

我唱著那年寫的詩歌，有一句沒一句的，想起歌詞是來自腓立比書2:15-16

使你們無可指摘、誠實無偽、在這彎曲悖謬的世代、作上帝無瑕疵的兒女．你們 顯在這世代中、好像明光照耀、將生命的道表明出來、叫我在基督的日子、好誇我沒有空跑、也沒有徒勞。 

徐徐地走到了明陣的出口，也是它的入口。

離開前，回頭望望那中央小圈裡的圖案，

噢，那六瓣的小花，

看清楚一點，

不是小花，

原來，是個

明光照耀的

白日頭。

 

With such strong arguments, I have to agree — that men should not be ordained as priest.

 

I think all mothers has experienced this at one point or another.

Happy Mother’s Day.

I asked for strength
That I may achieve
I was made weak
That I might learn to humbly obey
I asked for health
That I might do greater things
I was given infirmity
That I might do better things
I asked for riches
That I might be happy
I was given poverty
That I may be wise
I asked for power
That I might have the praise of men
I was given weakness
That I might feel the need of God
I asked for all things
That I might enjoy life
I was given life
That I may enjoy all things
I got nothing that I had asked for-
But everything that I had hoped for
Almost despite myself,
My unspoken prayers were answered
I am . . . most richly blessed

-by a Confederate soldier

Eric Metaxas takes on Dan Savage in today’s Breakpoint commentary. You can listen to it here.

Here’s a snippet:

Tolerance used to be defined as a willingness to put up with the beliefs or practices of those with whom we disagree. Today, tolerance means we must accept the beliefs and practices of others as correct — or risk being called a bigot. It’s interesting that this redefinition of tolerance almost always involves debates over homosexuality — and it always seems to be people on just one side of the debate calling those with whom they disagree “intolerant.”

I mean, when was the last time you heard a Christian accusing a gay-rights activist of intolerance because he refused to acknowledge that biblical teachings about homosexuality are correct?

And now we’re seeing the same kind of redefinition going on regarding the word bullying. If you so much as whisper that you believe that true marriage can take place only between one man and one woman, you’re accused of bullying.

In a way, this is the reason we should embrace the good-will of the anti-bullying bill 13, but not the bill itself.

[link: breakpoint.org via euangelion]

Okay, when I read Luke’s gospel, I was also curious about what happened to Jesus and how he escaped at the cliff of Nazareth.

But when I learned Bruce Longenecker was able to write a whole book on just that… now I am in awe.

Oh, it is only 152 pages.

Hearing the Silence
Jesus on the Edge and God in the Gap—Luke 4 in Narrative Perspective

——–

Update: Nijay K Gupta just wrote a short review of the book.

Listening to Tim Chester again:

God has placed you together with the people in your congregation. You did not chose them; God chose them. And that diversity of personalities, backgrounds, social class, ethnicities is used by God to make you grow in Christ and to display the unifying power of the cross.

But in cyberspace you are god. You chose who will be in community with you. You create your own communities of convenience that mean you are never challenged. Or if you are challenged or relationships become costly you can just scuttle off to new relationships. As a result we never grow. We are permanently immature.

[link: Tim Chester]

昨晚上過林教授「二十世紀華人神學風雲」的第一課，主要梳理十九世紀教士在中國的宣教事業。

當然，一句鐘的課，要說一百年的事，是必有取捨的，但林教授的功力果然厲害，不慌不忙的點出重點，引人入勝。

會後，我追問林教授有關李提摩太(Timothy Richard)的宣教進路，並問及李氏的工作成敗的見解。

今天，當我們積極鼓勵信徒參與政治，甚至要進入政府，影响決策，然後又看見那些在香港的所謂高官和議員的不堪表現，實在有必須重溫這段歷史，細心研究反省早於百多年前的前例。

這麼多年，妳終於回家去。

難過，當然不只是你的家人，更是這些歲月中，時刻為妳而牽掛和代禱的弟兄姊妹。

神始終沒有聽我們的禱告，讓妳康復。妳今天回家去了，我們都選擇相信，還是天上的爸爸認為妳回到祂那裡，比留在這個會朽壞的世界更好。然而，我們還有問不盡的疑惑、還有那不是答案能叫我們釋懷的痛苦。

不過，這一切，讓我們更期待，在那日，我們能夠親自問祂；

在那日，我們能見，

帶在復活身體的妳。