becoming

可能是美都杯凍檸茶累事，四點幾，眼光光。

既然係咁，醒各位教會趣事兩則：

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兒童崇拜，帶領敬拜的老師問小朋友”What does a king do?”，

一個小朋友想了一想，肯定地回答著：

“He makes a lot of burgers!”

（若你不識笑，那可能是因為你從來都不食漢堡快餐…）

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兩個姊妹在聚會後排的椅子貼上「司事專用」的標語，正討論那個字體比較好看。

碰巧一名年青弟兄經過，兩位姊妹立時拉著他，用相當緊張的語氣齊聲問他：

「XX，你好揀啦，你話邊個靚D？」

立時間，另一邊本來正忙著setup講檯的傳道人詫異地冒起頭來，

要看看是那兩位姊妹，

為著自己的終身幸福，

如此主動…

From BW3:

KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese: “Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen.”

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: “Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us from E-mail.”

One particular four-year-old prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?” One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.” “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons,Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’ Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. “Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked. “He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

Okay, back in April 2006 I asked “why OT scholar Tyler Williams is so obsessed with ancient toilets and related details”.

What I did not know is that our respected NT scholar BW3 has similar interest in animal dung! Read for yourself!

What’s on our Biblical scholars’ mind?

Why didn't I think of this before? It's so obvious!

It's rather surprising that in hundreds of years of source criticism, no one has thought of this hypothesis before. But now it's so obvious!

Read all. 

話說教會的英語同工和普通話同工正預備聯合聚會的詩歌，要找的是「有一位神」的英文歌譜。

因為不知歌名的翻譯，所以經過很長的時間也找不著。最後，英語同工終於找到了歌譜，於是興高彩烈地跑出房外大聲說：

"I've found it!!" 他用英文解釋道，

"There is a God!!"

立時，辦公室裡的人都靜了起來，跟著不約而同地笑了—

並為神向我們英語同工的啟示「感恩」…

Peggy, 到那天，你諗都唔好諗：

7 reasons not to mess with children [Thanks DD for the email.]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him" .
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

I notice this for quite some time, and I am glad Jim said it first before I do: "What's going on in Tyler's mind?" Every now and then, our OT scholar from Taylor University College in Edmonton will show us pictures of ancient toilets, together with all kinds of details about them. 

And to top this off, for a mere $18 USD, you can now buy a T-shirt that says "WWJD" (Where will Jesus doodie?).

Okay, I am no OT scholar (and I will never qualify if this is one of the prerequisites), but I have to wonder:

Man, what's wrong with you?